Once for My Lifetime

Aku mencintainya... My love for him more that I've ever never been do for my ex. My love for him is infinite.......You're my magical light , my everything.
For the first time that we was actually make a committed, I'm promised to myself "there's no hurt or being fool again." I trusted you when you was make sure that you gonna build a long lasting relationship too.
I dunno how to tellin' him, that the phrase 'i love you truly madly deeply' is never enough to describe or explain that I really loving him. Often, we always talking bout our future. We always dreaming what if in one day, all of our hopes & dreams come true :) We always makes a planning, even it the smallest thing that we can to do now for soon, and we're arrange one by one puzzle of life till it will complete if we've been married.. soon... AMIN.
He's my headache... He's my addictive substance..... oh God !!!

Like k$sha said on her song " I'm all strung out, my heart is fried. I just can't get you off my mind .Because your love is my drug <3 "

Kamal , apakah ini terlalu dini untuk kita memutuskan jika masing -masing diri kita adalah yang paling terbaik untuk kita? Mungkin aku bukan yang paling terbaik, sempurna tiada kekurangan (flawless) tapi aku selalu coba , selalu dan selalu agar sepadan untuk jadi pasanganmu :)

Aku bahagia denganmu dengan segala kekurangan kita yang menyedihkan tapi di saat bersamaan kita menertawakan itu. Aku cinta kamu, Mal. Banyak yang ingin aku tuliskan tapi aku ga akan sanggup, terlalu banyak kata ucapan penuh syukur atas hadirmu. Terima kasih selalu menghibur sedihku dan mencoba menghapus amarahku dengan tingkahmu yang terkadang justru lebih menyebalkan. Aku mulai takut.... perasaan 'terlalu cinta' kini melandaku... Satu yang pasti, dibarengi usaha dan doa, aku tunggu lamaranmu ... dan cincin pertunangan Agustus 2015. Inshaa Allah semua di ridhai Allah dan dipermudah segalanya... Amin :)

Burn the memories !

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall

But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

 Time stands still
beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer..........

Kring-kring.  "Eh you, whats up?" "I'm just gonna give you this. Please listen carefully and mean it." For a while , I listened to the newest song from i-dont-know-who's-singing. What a romantic song from the first time I heard. Then, the phone actually end without permission after the song played.

The good song with poor memory.

That's the short prolog to opening my story. Holaaaaa...... !!!!!!

I'm so sorry cause I'm so busy with all of stuff ma collage. Hfffffffff.

A long time ago, before I actually changed. I believe in faith about 'love'.

Then one people who I loved the most in old times destroy it.............. :)

He succeed ruin everything, from him I learned to not trust anybody, include the person you're share with. 

He's so easily said that he loves me forever. Now, I called it 'trashes or bullshit'

But suddenly he gone (to hell).... forever. (Now, I'm allergic too with this word.)

The person who promised future break EVERYTHING that we was built with patient and sweat.

He's cant prove what he was said. 

Well.... I'm so traumatic with this tragedy.

One year left............. (I won't tell what happened between me + him during these year. It make me seems like I'm the most idiot girl [I'm more foolish than *piiip*]--- I don't hate him or what the circumstances gave me at this times. I just hate for being fragile)

Nowadays, I'm with the newest person.

The different person but with the same promises.

OOOOOOOH...........

I'M THE WOMAN WHO ALWAYS WALKING WITH FEAR.

I end up with promises, forever etc...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just need YOUR PROVE !!!!!! :)

Please baby, I'm not looking at my past. But sometimes, it's like deja vu.

So many things that you did similiar with he has done for me.

Kamal, I trust you. Only don't wanna fallen again with same thing.

I'm so hard trust people again, because so many people are worthless.

Sorry to say that. In the fact, the closest person have the big opportunity to hurt me.

Ckckckckck............................................................................................

I love you, Kamal.

Please be careful with ma heart :)

Keep my heart warm with your love.

XoXo.