Resah

“Terkadang kita dapat sedekat nadi namun bisa juga menjadi sejauh asa”

Bila sedang baik – baik saja, merasa tak ada hambatan yang berarti. Tapi sekalinya tersandung, semua masalah seakan dipaparkan menjadi begitu jelas. Bila sedang baik – baik saja, keyakinan penuh selalu mengiringi. Tapi sekalinya tersenggol, keraguan menyerang… menghapus tawa dengan derai air mata.

Kesalahan beranjak dewasa ditemani dongeng klasik. Percaya dengan keajaiban cinta, kekuatan atas ketulusan hati. Di kehidupan nyata, semua itu hanya semu….. semua serba abu – abu. Sejenak terdiam, mungkin happy ending itu hanya milik fairy-tale bukan untuk manusia nyata.

Ku jatuh cinta lagi. Cinta yang tidak dipaksakan. Cinta yang tidak direncanakan. Cinta yang terlalu tiba – tiba menyapa dan membutuhkan respon secepat kilat. Aku termangu. Iya-tidak-iya-tidak. Sebab sakit itu masih terasa. Sakit itu masih membekas. Aku takut membuat kesetiaan lagi, berkomitmen pada seseorang.

Menerawang dalam pandangannya, memikirkan ucap demi ucap yang keluar dari bibirnya. Itu pilihan yang sulit. Untuk menerima orang yang sangat baru untuk menaruh harapan baru yang melambung. Aku pandangi dirinya, aku pejamkan mata sejenak. Adakah dia lelaki yang akan bersamaku di masa depan?

Hatiku bergemuruh seakan didera badai. Entah ini badai asmara atau alarm pengingat bahwa cinta terlalu dini bagiku. Dalam satu helaan nafas setelah beribu pikiran, aku menerimanya. Aku menerima dia sebagai lelakiku… yang ku harap terakhir.

Kini aku telah melewati angka 16 untuk yang ke 16 kalinya. Manis asam percintaan sedikit banyak ku lalui bersamanya. Sampai nafas berhembus saat ini, dialah lelaki terbaikku. Dia menjadi sumber bahagiaku, juga dapat menjadi bumerang bagiku. Takutku kian menjadi, menghantui tiap langkah perjalanan kita. Dia mempunyai apa yang banyak wanita dambakan, aku gusar. Dia dapat meninggalkanku kapan saja, dapat memilih wanita mana saja yang diinginkan. Sedangkan aku, memeluk kakinya untuk berkata tetaplah denganku..

Dalam tidur lelapnya, sering ku mengecupnya, mengusap begitu sempurna raga dirinya dan mendekap tubuhnya yang selalu menopang kegelisahanku. Karena aku tidak tahu, sampai mana takdir berkehendak. Dan berharap pada sang Pencipta, untuk menggariskan dia kepadaku… Amin.

Once for My Lifetime

Aku mencintainya... My love for him more that I've ever never been do for my ex. My love for him is infinite.......You're my magical light , my everything.
For the first time that we was actually make a committed, I'm promised to myself "there's no hurt or being fool again." I trusted you when you was make sure that you gonna build a long lasting relationship too.
I dunno how to tellin' him, that the phrase 'i love you truly madly deeply' is never enough to describe or explain that I really loving him. Often, we always talking bout our future. We always dreaming what if in one day, all of our hopes & dreams come true :) We always makes a planning, even it the smallest thing that we can to do now for soon, and we're arrange one by one puzzle of life till it will complete if we've been married.. soon... AMIN.
He's my headache... He's my addictive substance..... oh God !!!

Like k$sha said on her song " I'm all strung out, my heart is fried. I just can't get you off my mind .Because your love is my drug <3 "

Kamal , apakah ini terlalu dini untuk kita memutuskan jika masing -masing diri kita adalah yang paling terbaik untuk kita? Mungkin aku bukan yang paling terbaik, sempurna tiada kekurangan (flawless) tapi aku selalu coba , selalu dan selalu agar sepadan untuk jadi pasanganmu :)

Aku bahagia denganmu dengan segala kekurangan kita yang menyedihkan tapi di saat bersamaan kita menertawakan itu. Aku cinta kamu, Mal. Banyak yang ingin aku tuliskan tapi aku ga akan sanggup, terlalu banyak kata ucapan penuh syukur atas hadirmu. Terima kasih selalu menghibur sedihku dan mencoba menghapus amarahku dengan tingkahmu yang terkadang justru lebih menyebalkan. Aku mulai takut.... perasaan 'terlalu cinta' kini melandaku... Satu yang pasti, dibarengi usaha dan doa, aku tunggu lamaranmu ... dan cincin pertunangan Agustus 2015. Inshaa Allah semua di ridhai Allah dan dipermudah segalanya... Amin :)

Burn the memories !

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall

But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died every day
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

 Time stands still
beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer..........

Kring-kring.  "Eh you, whats up?" "I'm just gonna give you this. Please listen carefully and mean it." For a while , I listened to the newest song from i-dont-know-who's-singing. What a romantic song from the first time I heard. Then, the phone actually end without permission after the song played.

The good song with poor memory.

That's the short prolog to opening my story. Holaaaaa...... !!!!!!

I'm so sorry cause I'm so busy with all of stuff ma collage. Hfffffffff.

A long time ago, before I actually changed. I believe in faith about 'love'.

Then one people who I loved the most in old times destroy it.............. :)

He succeed ruin everything, from him I learned to not trust anybody, include the person you're share with. 

He's so easily said that he loves me forever. Now, I called it 'trashes or bullshit'

But suddenly he gone (to hell).... forever. (Now, I'm allergic too with this word.)

The person who promised future break EVERYTHING that we was built with patient and sweat.

He's cant prove what he was said. 

Well.... I'm so traumatic with this tragedy.

One year left............. (I won't tell what happened between me + him during these year. It make me seems like I'm the most idiot girl [I'm more foolish than *piiip*]--- I don't hate him or what the circumstances gave me at this times. I just hate for being fragile)

Nowadays, I'm with the newest person.

The different person but with the same promises.

OOOOOOOH...........

I'M THE WOMAN WHO ALWAYS WALKING WITH FEAR.

I end up with promises, forever etc...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just need YOUR PROVE !!!!!! :)

Please baby, I'm not looking at my past. But sometimes, it's like deja vu.

So many things that you did similiar with he has done for me.

Kamal, I trust you. Only don't wanna fallen again with same thing.

I'm so hard trust people again, because so many people are worthless.

Sorry to say that. In the fact, the closest person have the big opportunity to hurt me.

Ckckckckck............................................................................................

I love you, Kamal.

Please be careful with ma heart :)

Keep my heart warm with your love.

XoXo.

Whisper-of-Sorrow

Aku mencintai dia yang mencintaiku. Aku merindukan dia yang merinduku. Dan aku menahannya. Kita dipertemukan untuk saling jatuh cinta, memiliki dalam semunya kebahagian lalu berpisah dalam diam. Aku dan kamu berdampingan diantara sekat tinggi yang tak dapat dihilangkan. Kesalahan terindah, kebenaran terpahit. Bolehkah aku pinjam bahumu untuk terakhir kalinya? Agar aku dapat menumpahkan rasa ini. Jatuh hati padamu bukan kehendakku, namun terjadi begitu saja. Dan apakah kita masih dapat bersama... itu pilihan. 
Ada kalanya lebih baik diam dalam merindu. Biarkan alam berbahasa dan menyampaikannya.

Nowadays

Now, I'm here. Being a new person. Being a new feelin'. I'm not the person that the last you saw. I'm being a struggle woman to faced the unfortunately life. Even I need a shoulder to kept my head up, I'm always alone to solved it. Might you dunno, it's really hard being ME. I'm always forced myself in front of any trouble in every circumstances. Never easy to explaining your feelings. Can you reach somethin' that you never expected it to be? Seems like .. uuumm~ impossible. All of the lessons in this young life like a special gift from God.

Remember, God always knowing&hearing my prayed even in my silence tears. God exactly controlled me in Your path. In this humble heart, yes.. You're my everything. You're the only one who can answer there questions with what You did to me. Maybe it really contradiction with my wishes.... I'm rather so lost believe in You, when it happens....

But actually in the end, I knew.. If you brave to saying good-bye, the world will reward you in a new 'Hello :)'

Missing Qoutes

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.

The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but some how feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

I might not get to see you as often as I'd like, I may not get to hold you in my arms at night, but deep in my heart I know that it's true. No matter what happens... I will always love you.

I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.

If you love someone more then anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart.

I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, and today it can't happen now but it will someday.

Nothing hurts more then waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore.

And if you were to say 'come with me', even now I might go.

I have waited for you for 2 years and I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Even if that means I have to give you up for the rest of my life, I will wait for you. I love you that much and nothing will ever change that.

Can miles truly separate you...? If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

You know you love someone when the mere thought of losing them brings you to tears.

I wish that I could hold you now... I wish that I could touch you now... I wish that I could talk to you... be with you somehow.

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.

Just because I moved on doesn't mean I won't be here if you change your mind.

Maybe he's doing the same thing as me... maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him... then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him.

You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything is.

I sit here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me belongs to you.

I don't miss you: I miss the person I thought you were.

I'd be happy to come back to you... except it was you that went away.

I think its time I let you go... and that is hard to do because part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life.

Good-bye's make you think. They make you realize what you've had and what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted.

Good-bye is only truly painful if you know you'll never say hello again.

Never long for anyone from the past. There is a reason why they never made it to your future.

Goodbyes always hurt whether it's the right thing to do or not.

We'll do what we gotta do, see what we gotta see, and if in the end we end up together, then we'll know it was meant to be.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you... and I wish on a star that somewhere you're thinking of me, too.

Even now after all this time, you called me and wa

nted me I'd say "yes! It's about time what took you so damn long!".

You do something to me that I can't explain, so would I be out of line if I said I miss you?

The few hours I spent with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you.

This is out last goodbye... it's over, just hear this and then I'll go; you gave me more to live for then you'll ever know.

Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.

It's been quite awhile... I must say I miss our friendship. I miss you, but what I really miss the most is not just you or us but how it all was.

I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear... I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these... I just miss you!

I ofter catch myself constantly wondering how you are, sitting alone with my mind set so far, reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch, damn this life... I'm missing you too much!

I get this feelings we'll be together again. No straight lines make up my life, all roads have bends. No clear cut begging's and so far no dead ends.

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.

I called because I wanted you to know that despite everything that' happened and all the miles between us right now, I still think about the way it was in the beginning.

If some thing happens and you lose me, please don' think that' the end, come and find again.

I know you've been busy, I had things to do too. We haven't talked for some time, I wonder if everything's fine. I had other stuff on me mind, I'm sure you did too, but I just had to tell you this my friend... hey I miss you.

People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end.

We've gone our separate ways and I know it's for the best, but sometimes I wonder, will I ever have friends like you again?

I miss all the little things. Like him driving with his hand resting on my knee and the way wed share a big gooey ice cream. But I especially miss the hot nights in those motel rooms when he was all around me, the taste, and the scent and the feel of him. And Id fall asleep in his arms, with the sound of his heartbeat being the last thing I heard before going to sleep. I ache with longing.

I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then.

In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will waste all there love on someone like you, like I did.

If you missed me then I'm sorry I didn't stay away longer, I like being missed.

Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today.

It's YOU. You mean everything to me... you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up; my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams... when you are sad, I fell sad, and when I see your true smile, I feel incredible, like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.

The best feeling in the world is to be millions of miles away and still be able to picture his eyes.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.

I tell you goodnight with tears in my eyes, I wish I was there curled up by your side, Time passes, But not fast enough, I try to be strong. But I'm not that tough, When I feel you embrace it will be all right, But my heart aches for you on this lonely night.

When I'm not there... do you think of me? When you're sad and something's bothering you... do you wish I were there to help comfort you? When you've had a long hard day... do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, and everything will seem better, even if it's just for a moment? When you lay down at night... do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? And when you get up in the morning, does everything inside of you smile, knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? because that's how I think of you...

I can still remember just the way you taste.

I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

Hug me when I'm there, miss me when I'm not, kiss me every day, and love me for all eternity.

If home is where the heart is, then wherever you are, that's my home.

I just want to hug you, but your are 480 some miles away, what I wouldn't do for a hug.

I wish that you were here or that I were there, or that we were together anywhere!

Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.

When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever.

Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your fault. You made me miss you too much!

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.

I miss you most when I'm sad. I miss you when I'm lonely. But most of all, I miss you when I'm happy.

I am here and you are there - one of us is in the wrong place!

Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!

Not being able to hold you has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I get to look forward to the next time you are in my arms; your smile only inches away from mine getting closer and closer until at last... our smiles meet. Something that beautiful... that's what keeps me going.

I miss the way you used to hug me, I miss the way you used to kiss my lips, but most of all I miss the way you held me and my heart. I miss you...

What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him, and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse.

If my heart had wings I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. - Faith Hill

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I wish on a star that somewhere, you are thinking of me too.

It's not a 'good-bye', only a long 'I'll see you later.'

et the distance and capture you.

When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you. It makes me forg

No matter how far you are, no matter how long I'm gone, you will always be with me. I will see you always as clear as day, for our love knows no boundries and never will, because you see... our hearts are one, and mine is always home.

from : 

http://members.tripod.com/mi_ruka0/id16.html

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balada monmon restu

pelajaran geografi kayanya yang paling nyantai deeh

liat aja pas bu tami sedang berkicau,di belakang gua monmon sm ndi malah buka salon dadakan -___-

ica cs dan kawan kawan nggosip apaan gitu yang jelas gua ketinggalan :(

mega tetap menggalau ria mengenang sang mantan haha

nah gua sama si ana pacilong malah asik main sisir sisiran hihihi :**

sebenernya bukannya kita pada engga ngehargain bu tami tapi pelajaran bu tami bisa bikin kita jadi ga tertekan

nih coba ya pas pelajaran bu ida kelas sepuluh, mau napas aja takut di marahin #apasihtikgajelas

HAHAHAHA intinya ngedenger langkah sepatunya aja gua pengen mencret ups!

selama 1 jam setengah udah cukup bikin gua senam jantung

inget deh pas dulu gua di suruh maju ke depan gua ga bisa mewek di bangku deeeeh

ahaha~~ lupakan! anak soc ga inget kimia hahaha

pas pelajaran siapa lagi yaa yg bikin merinding?

eeeeem bu sinur juga cuma engga terlalu nyeremin soalnya bu sinur masih bisa bercanda hehe

pak darwis [??]

sempet ada affair sama kelas gua aaaaaaaaargh hahaha

pengen di lupain soalnya aib kelas tapi kocak aja haha

eh melenceng kan jadinya dari konsep awal gua mau cerita u,u

nah jadi tuh monmon sm ndoh sibuk make kutek gitu

fyi aja kelas gua lagi pada mabok oriflamenya ica hahaha

gua ge termakan iklannya dan beli sabunnya apa gtu ya lupaaa namanya

ipit beli kikir kuku katanya bisa bikin mengkilap gtu kukunya bener sih tadi gua coba *free :D

harganya 25ribu ada 3 bagian gtu deh boleh boleh silahkan beli

eem si ana pacilong beli lipbalm sama kutek shock pink apalah haha

enaaak deh wangi lipbalmnyaaaaa u,u serasa pengen di emut loh? hahahaha

si monmon beli kutek doang yang shock pink juga 

ndikuuu tersayang my cermet beli kutek blablabla pink juga deh cuma warnanya pastel imut

AKU SUKA DAN AKU MAUUUUUU :D :D

tapi gratisan tentunya hihi**]

si MENEL RESTU belaga banget beli lotion milk apa ya?

harganya 89ribu 200ml itu juga lagi diskon uuuuuuu 

jujur aja ya wanginya enaaaaak banget mau mau mau nyoba huhu

fyi lagi nih buat nglunasin itu lotion si restu sampe merelakan semua uangnya hahaha

jadi tinggal seribu di tangan uuuuu sangat miris yaaaa ceman ceman

dia itu PELIT ih weeeeee mau nyobain aja ga boleh di segelnya pake selotip haha

*ini masih pas pelajaran bu tami yaaayaaa

restu yang notabenenya penjaga rak sepatu alias duduk di paling belakang belakangnya monmon

duh ribet ah bingung -.-

mungkin monmon pengen minta dikit ya nyobain tuh lotion buat referensi dia

tapi sayangnya restu pelit sekaliiii :'( sama dia ga di bolehin huhu

karena monmon kesal akhirnya dia mengeluarkan jurus andalannya yang selalu ditutupi

yaituuuuuuuuu tarraaaa NEMPELIN UPILNYA ke botol lotionnya

wueeeeeeeeeeks

akhirnya tuh dua anak ribut banget deh paciweuh

patonjok tonjok terus ngbanting kipas sm meja aw

gua yang tetangganya monmon sampe pusing dengerin monmon dan restu berkelahi

ahaha lebaaaaaaaaay u,u

pertempuran mereka usai saat bel pulang berdentang

TENG TENG TENG~~

monmon langsung cepet2 cabut soalnya dia mau ngirim paket buat sang pacar yang bernama yosua

pacarnya dia jauh di batam gitu deh hebat juga loh ldr ! gua mah ga bisaaaaaaaaa -____-

pas monmon lagi berdiri di depan pintu nungguin ana

saat restu lagi kisruh ngomel ngomel di mejanya sambil ngeliatin botol lotion mahalnya penuh upil

ica dengan polosnya penuh jiwa berbisnis mendatangi restu sambil ngambil tuh botol lotion dan mengendus2 botolnya dengan penuh penghayatan lalu berkata "tuh kata gua ge apa tu enak banget ya harumnya.."

gua sindi restu ana monmon hanya bisa tersenyum rasa iba

DOOOOOOOOOR ! tahukah dia sama saja mencium upilnya monik yang pada nempel?

HAHAHAHA congratulation yaaaaa icayaaaaaaang ;)

Bersamamu - Sevensoul

Bersamamu
Adalah anugerah bagiku
Aku hanya ingin bahagia


Sudah cukup bagiku untuk mengerti dirimu selalu
Kuharap kau bisa mengerti aku
Ingin selalu denganmu
Warnai hidupku
Untuk selamanya
Dirimu yang aku cinta
Dirimu yang aku sayang


Berikan aku tulus cintamu
Cintaku tak kan pernah hilang
Janjiku setia padamu
Kau selalu dalam hidupku

syalalalaa syalalaaa
denger lagunya lumayan bikin gua tersenyum
walo gua sendiri gatau bersamanya tuh bersama siapa
nah loh [?]
hahahaha
i will spend this night alone :D
without YOU without the others people 
i needed to calm down heum hahaha

LOVE is.. ?

LOVE is BULLSHIT !

cuma itu yang gua pengen bilang.

STOP the TIME,now !

kadang mimpi itu lebih indah

dari semua kenyataan .

kadang ingin terlelap tuk sejenak

menikmati permainan ini

yang tak akan ku rasakan di kehidupan nyata

please, stop the time ..

aku hanya ingin merasakan ini sekali lagi

buat rasa nyaman untuk selamanya :')